breath in a break

aku berada di sebuah rangkaian anak tangga.
tak pernah tahu bagaimana dan pada bagian sebelah mana, aku berdiri di tangga itu. ternyata, ada seseorang yang menaiki beberapa anak tangga dan berhenti pada anak tangga tempatku berdiri.
kemudian, kami menaiki tangga bersama.

pada suatu saat, dia mendorongku dan aku jatuh beberapa anak tangga. sebenarnya bisa saja aku menarik tangannya saat itu, tapi aku memutuskan untuk tidak.
disitulah kami mulai berjalan masing-masing.
so we are perfectly stranger, just like we used to be.

aku berjalan kembali menaiki anak tangga. berpapasan dengan banyak orang, dan aku menemukan seseorang yang berdiri pada sebuah anak tangga yang sama denganku. nampaknya dia sama seperti sedia kalaku, tidak tahu bagaimana bisa ada di tangga itu. kemudian, kami menaiki tangga bersama.

lagi-lagi, pada suatu saat, aku tidak ingat persis bagaimana akhirnya kami sudah tidak lagi menaiki anak tangga bersama. entah aku melambat, aku lebih cepat, atau dia diam. atau aku yang diam. kami tidak memutuskan untuk berpisah. tapi terpisahkan oleh banyak hal yang kami tidak tahu mana yang benar.

begitulah.
beberapa orang sudah pernah menapaki anak tangga, mundur beberapa anak tangga (entah terjatuh, dijatuhkan), atau memilih untuk melambat bahkan diam.

dan ajaibnya beberapa orang juga mulanya tidak mengetahui keberadaannya di rangkaian tangga, namun bertemu seseorang dan mereka berjalan bersama. entah untuk beberapa saat atau sampai tangga itu habis terdaki.

tidak semua orang mendapatkan kesempatan merasakan proses melewati anak tangga ini.
ya memang benar adanya sebagian dari mereka yang merasa tidak merasakan proses itu sebenarnya tidak peduli dengan prosesnya.

volume pt 1 : The Killers - Just Another Girl ; Coldplay - Everglow

i was sightseeing my mp3 collection and this song came up

The Killers - Just Another Girl (2013)

the killers caught my attention with their old hit 'Mr. Brightside'. yeah, even though we all know that the song is pretty hard to be sung in public because of the creepy lyrics hahaha but the instrument is one of my jams

so dear readers, they comfort you that she's just another girl and he's just another boy.
don't let her or him stick it to your heart so hard /another self-talk/

and this night i grab the entire album of a head full of dreams by the legendary coldplay.
the title track still hasn't got me high, but i stumble and fall for the fourth track : everglow.

Coldplay - Everglow (2015)

the vibe is what you called coldplay music. you must be drawn into their trademark, like yellow and the scientist. in an instant 4.42 minutes, the sadness will devour your feeling along with several memories of your best.

i'll play the song only at night. or it will ruin my morning and the entire day for feeling so blue hahahaha
thank you coldplay for the blue song and the direct approach with 'so if you love someone, you should let them know'

the crying sky

i watch a tv drama and suddenly rain pouring down the city.
my cold room and the sound of the falling water drawn me back to the moment.
that was our first rain. we both soaked in our uniform.
we laughed so hard while sitting in the stairs, and thinking the way to go back home barefooted.

if i could turn back time,
i wish i was just go to sleep that day. without texting you.
that was my biggest mistake. and we separate this way. not in a good way.

my decision to keep avoiding you is the best thing i can do.
even though you're cool about it, i am trying hard to hide my smile.
it's better off this way, let's just keep this little secret between us.
i know i am greedy to keep this memory like it used to be.

don't ask me to come.
i don't want to see you with that new person.
besides, i also don't want that new person to know me.
let's just disappear quietly.

i hope nothing but your happiness every single day.
and thank you for the memories.
i will make sure to keep my distance, so you won't hear me screaming.
congratulation, 나의 소중한 기억............

다시 Run Run Run

i feel the urge to write about BTS

title track yang dirilis dari album The Most Beautiful Moment in Life pt.2 berjudul 'RUN'. Seperti pada album sebelumnya dan sebelumnya lagi, title track dipilih dengan judul bahasa inggris - mudah diingat (dan tentu saja diucapkan hehehe).

awalnya berharap title track akan upbeat sekelas 'Danger'.
namun, rasanya tidak mengingat album concept yang calming dan rangkaian dari 'I Need U'.

MV dan album dirilis 30 November 2015, 12AM waktu korea. 

MV yang satu ini merupakan kelanjutan MV 'I Need U' yang sama saja, tidak dapat ditonton hanya sekali. Drama, konsep, dan makna-makna tersembunyi menjadi pembicaraan seru di berbagai portal berita k-pop. Sampai sekarang, saya juga masih banyak membaca review MV 'RUN' yang semakin dalam dan menyenangkan untuk diikuti dan ditebak.

sejak pertama mendengarkan lagunya, intro 'RUN' ini membawa efek hypnotizing. part pertama yang disuguhkan adalah rapatnya rap RapMon dan Suga. vibe barat BTS terasa di awal, no wonder, Rap Monster did that again!

넌 내 하나뿐인 태양

you are my only sun

너 없이 살 순 없어

I can't live without you

가지가 말라도 더 힘껏 손을 뻗어

Though my branch runs dry, I reach for you with all my strength

beberapa potongan lyrics dari RapMon diatas menggambarkan exclamation yang keras. I know that it'll be hard, so I try harder to get you.

kelanjutan bagian rap dari Suga membawa kita ke arah keraguan. At first I believe in myself, but is it a right thing to do? Because I already did harder but I went nowhere. That's a common thing when you want to reach something and having a shaken feeling in the middle of the journey.

손 뻗어봤자 금세

no matter how far I reach for you,
깨버릴 꿈

It is just an empty dream

미칠 듯 달려도

No matter how crazy I run,
또 제자리일 뿐

I remain on the same place

Keraguan itu akan memudar ketika kita mengingat tujuan yang akan dicapai. Pain is growing along with the effort.

두 발에 상처만 가득해도

Even though my feet are full of scars
니 얼굴만 보면 웃는 나니까

I smile whenever I see you

so, what else can I do, besides keep running?

so that there will be no regrets even though I can't get you.

but in the middle of the song. there's a little pledge that's been saying by Jimin and Jungkook. letting me breath means you will stop. whether you will take a look at me or not. ah, it's kinda sad.

길을 알려줘 날 좀 멈춰줘

please guide me, please stop me
날 숨쉬게 해줘

please let me breathe

it's a sad song, but also giving a source of strength to keep running no matter what.

thank you for the amazing title track BTS~ please support BTS and don't forget to watch their live performances in all music programs

(you have to watch the dance performance, it's epic!!) *fangirl screaaam*

Rap Monster explained, “We didn’t want to just blankly say ‘cheer up’ or ‘be strong.’ We really wanted to comfort people our way, by producing the music and writing the lyrics ourselves. We poured our heart and soul into this amazing song."  (BTS press conference for their “2015 BTS LIVE — The Most Beautiful Moment in Life On Stage” concert)

*english translation lyrics by colorcodedlyrics.com

sumbatan otak

Ironi.

Anak-anak yang dipaksa tidur siang ketika para pekerja kantoran mengantuk setelah jam istirahat. Seorang murid kursus piano yang dilarang berdiri sebelum menguasai beberapa bar rumit ketika mahasiswa teknik ingin membelot dari kursi kuilahnya dan melanjutkan mimpinya bermusik. Perantau yang merindukan rumah ketika anak rumahan memilih main sampai pagi untuk menghindari saudaranya. Seorang buta yang mendamba cahaya dan pemandangan ketika seseorang yang lain mengunci diri di kamar tidak ingin melihat dunia.

Aku hidup diantara petak-petak itu. Terkadang juga ada di dalamnya. Sayang, hidup tidak bisa dengan mudahnya bertukar tempat, tidak berjalan dengan logika.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LR5rSkDcP2M

Satu lagi yang akhir-akhir ini menjadi semakin jelas.

Ketika aku mengetahui sesuatu dan merasa lebih mengetahui sesuatu dibanding orang lain, aku tidak akan pernah mengetahuinya 100%. Ada banyak sudut pandang. Kemudian menjadi semakin sulit untuk menyatakan sesuatu tersebut benar atau salah. Semua serba ‘tergantung alasannya apa’. Ada bigger pictures yang harus diketahui juga dan memaksa untuk zoom out, melihat dengan jangkauan lebih luas.

Open Arms

salah satu judul lagu fenomenal Gary Go. I like the way British man creates strong sentences, wrapped it up with music. you should go listen.

dulu, aku selalu merasa teman itu susah bertambah. teman itu ya yang harus kita kenal sejak lama. kalau kalian tau, temanku yang itu itu saja. kadang bertambah, tapi tidak banyak.
mengingat aku merantau, aku harus menambah teman. dulu aku pendiam, tidak suka berkenalan dengan orang baru. bahkan seorang teman, vani, pertama kali berkenalan hanya dengan kutunjukkan bedge nama di kerudung sekolahku tanpa kuucapkan namanya.

sejak di bandung, cara pandangku berubah. aku yang sendiri, lebih suka diam, mulai mencoba iseng mencari topik dengan orang yang belum kukenal. meski sering gagal dan berakhir sama-sama diam. aku mencoba mengenal banyak, ikut komunitas taekwondo, ikut komunitas student orchestra. dua hal yang belum pernah kusentuh sebelumnya. teman angkatan kuliah, well, bisa dibilang hanya segelintir yang kukenal.

tahun kedua, aku pindah ke sebuah kota di dekat bandung, sumedang. disana, aku tinggal di asrama. mulanya aku kembali mengalami kesulitan bicara. aku tidak kenal seniorku. tidak kenal teman-teman sejurusanku. suatu hari, aku berpikir, berpikir keras, apa yang harus aku lakukan. memang, aku menganut paham bahwa bila sesuatu dikerjakan sendiri, pasti bisa selesai. tapi, aku tahu itu tak selamanya. di sumedang ini, aku mencoba melebarkan jangkauan tangan. mengenal senior yang bahkan baru kulihat wajahnya, berteman dengan kakak kantin, ibu penanggung jawab asrama, satpam, siapapun. paling sederhana, kucoba menyapa mereka terlebih dahulu.

kini aku sudah banyak berteman. orang yang tidak pernah kusangka bisa diajak ngobrol, ternyata tidak seseram itu. pasti ada topik yang bisa dibicarakan. awkward moment adalah hal lumrah. yang penting kita sudah mencoba. lain waktu aku percaya bisa lebih baik. ketiga temanku dari kota asal sudah lulus kuliah tahun ini. praktis, tinggal aku. tapi aku tidak lagi khawatir. banyak teman. banyak malaikat. aku belajar dari cerita hidup mereka. ada pendaki gunung, pemburu ilmu pengetahuan, business man, bankir, si alim, banyak musisi, junior yang giat bekerja, ada banyak lain lagi.

melebarkan jangkauan tangan. aku tahu teman memang harus diseleksi. tapi toh, kita juga bisa belajar dari mereka. aku diajarkan bagaimana bersyukur, tetap optimis, giat, selalu rendah hati, menyemangati orang lain, dan mendapat keluarga baru. memang tidak sedarah, tapi kami sama karena nasib. kami ada disini, berkenalan, dan itulah keluarga baru. ironi memang, katamu, kata mereka, tapi aku tak peduli. menurutku mereka tetap keluarga baruku. suatu hari, aku ingin melihat kita semua sukses karena saling menguatkan dan saling belajar satu sama lain.

even the 'dolls' are harworker too

k-pop totally stole my attention
it's like i'm still amazed by their all-packaged concept, good looking with the not bad until fantastic singing skill, great dancing and stage act, acting, being an MC, comedian, and so forth.

then i suddenly got slapped in the face when i read an article, coming from  a famous american band front man, Mr X. he said music should be coming from inside you, playing the guitar, drum, bass in the garage and blending it with the vocal, not from a music competition, so people are designing you.

hmm
k-pop is even worse
i read a lot of articles, watching a lot of their reality shows, browsing a lot of investigation videos about what is actually behind this k-pop invasion

mainly, they just get the song from the composer, copying the dance from their choreographer, shows good faces and body complexion (tons of them got plastic surgery as we all know) so people will see them as a whole package, just like me
i even reached the stage when i personally thought that they're all just fake entertainer, act like a doll that is played by their big agencies

but then,
i actually forgot. they're all the hardworker people.

don't you ever think to place yourself as them?

actually i wrote this because i saw a video. i use youtube to find an answer about a girl named Goo Hara, a member of girl group called KARA. she was bashed like crazy just because she was the first idol who revealed her plastic surgery in 2010. it was like opening the biggest public secret. yeah, you're not reading it wrongly. she admitted her undergo-knife procedure that was a taboo topic to be told. in that period. and the latest issue was about her emotional explosion in a program.

people are judging her as a plastic idol. and an immature idol.
so, please, can you take a look at tons of other idol groups before judging her so hard?

personally i don't defend her, like agreeing about plastic surgery is a  right thing to do. but still, look at her deeply.
Goo Hara was coming from a broken family, she had been living in poverty until she reached her dreams with KARA. she worked so hard to reach her dream as an entertainer. you can check immediately in youtube about her predebut auditions. so it's basically understandable if she has some sensitive topics about her life.

I respect her and her decision about her plastic surgery eventhough i disagree with that. again, another personally opinion, she was originally beautiful even before her plastic surgery.

we may disagree about their (Goo Hara and hundreds of idol group out there) decision about some sensitive topics like plastic surgery, but still we may not forget that their sweat and tears are the main building blocks of their talents. they're not just simply performing without undergoing some hard training periods.
I think what the front man X said is partially true but not all of them are true.

my main goal here is to make people awakened about what is dreaming means and learn from them that they're working so hard to reach their dreams while creating another dream to be reached. human cannot survive without hope, right?

PS : this video is about Goo Hara. I got teary-eyed after watching this, i never thought that some of the idols are having a hard life like her


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vg0f5t7TJVk